Week 2 Results

What a difference a week makes! Last week there was a net 23 lbs lost by the field, only to see that number drop dramatically to 1 this week. The pace setters up in front last week, slowed down considerably but they did achieve 2 to 3 lbs lost, which is a good amount on a weekly basis. Week 2 saw 3 competitors post weight gains that leveled the field a bit for the spots three thru seven. I hate to admit it but this reporter is ready to call this a two man race after only two weeks. Brian and Dan have a tremendous advantage over the rest of the field and it would take a gigantic effort to overcome this early deficit. Brian jumped out to take the lead over Dan and I see this to be a see-saw battle the rest of the way.

1st Place - Brian with 5.61% loss with 12 lbs total loss.

2nd Place - Dan with 5.31% loss with 11 lbs total loss.

3rd Place - Marksman with 0.85% loss with 2 lbs total loss.

4th Place - Rahim with 0.45% loss with a 1 lb total loss.

5th Place - Christian with 0.44% loss with a 1 lb total loss.

6th Place - Renee with (0.54)% loss with a 1 lb total gain.

7th Place - Marco with (0.91)% loss with a 2lb total gain.

Brian takes the lead! Brian edges out Dan by 1 pound this week to momentarily take the lead in this exciting duel. With only a 3 tenths of a per cent lead this battle might turn into a good humdinger. The investigation into possible organ donation has not turned up any information. We might have to believe the weight loss is factual. Brian is not shy to report that he owes his current success to the increased amount of daily exercise he has incorporated into his day. No longer is rolling out of bed and landing with his feet on the floor considered a gymnastic workout. He has initiated a daily morning running routine which has this reporter amazed. For a busy professional, he has found a way to make time in the morning a work up a sweat.

Dan is keeping pace and does not need to panic yet. As long as he can keep Brian within his sights he should be fine. Dan is actually very accustomed to looking at Brian's behind so this should not be unfamiliar territory for him. (Gay Disclaimer!). I am not one to knock someones form of motivation, Dan can do what ever it takes to keep him up for this competition. Ever since Dan has lost weight he has been unable to continue with his original career as guitar player for his own band. Below is a promo picture from his first album.

The Marksman leaps into third place with a solid 1 pound loss. You have to be kidding me. If the Marksman is in third that speaks to the quality of the lackluster effort put forth by the other players. The only time the Marksman is third in anything is online at the Mr. Softee Truck. The marksman still dreams of one day buying his own truck so he can taste the wonderful soft serve made famous by Mr. Softee. This reporter would not be surprised if the Marksman has not put a down payment on a truck with his upcoming Stay Pay. His wife has been calling him Mr. Softee for years, might as well dress the part.


What the hell happened to Rahim! "4 POUND GAIN" How do you gain four pounds in a week in a weight loss pool? I'm no Eric Saverid, but it was not from eating salads and healthy portions of food. Rumor has it that Rahim has been spending quite a bit of time at the house of worship of his spiritual advisor pictured on your right. All this reporter can advise is that this player retrieve his head from the chickens ass and get a back into the competition.

Christian had a minor setback with a gain of a pound this week. Just like you can not run a marathon on your first stab at running, you also need to feel yourself out in the beginning of your first weight loss pool. This reporter will keep an eye on Christian as he is not sure if he is committed to the healthy eating that is required to lose the amount of weight necessary to come out on top. Also it is has been rumored that Christian has a second job which is no longer allowed as new employees of JPMAM. The below photo was taken at night with a telescopic lens from 300 yards. I do not know about you but I see a resemblance.


Renee has decided that it was time to move in the right direction and she posted her first weight loss of 1 pound. This reporter has a lot of respect for Renee as she was the only person who began the posted smack down comments. The girl showing the boys what to do. I Like It!. But this reporter is going to end the love fest right there, I have to be a biased reporter and it makes know difference if you are a man or women when it comes down to it. We have put our spies out to get a better understanding of what makes this player tick. We have her house at left surrounded for pictures. Keep posted.

Is the the party over already for Marco? Common sense would have suggested a minimum of a 1 pound weight loss to show desire. But instead this beefcake decide to gain another pound for the second week in a row. I have to wonder if there is something medically wrong with this competitor. Did he get knocked on the head, fall of a cocoa plant, pick his nose too hard. Not sure but I must say I am concerned. Anyone who sees him says he looks as he is walking around unconscious. See below.


THAT'S ALL FOR THIS WEEK

Where's the Smack Troop BSAM

I am really disturbed and embarrassed by the level of smack (or lack thereof) being bantered about. If I thought I was hosting a sight for a girl scout troop (no offense Renee), I would be knee deep in a carton of Thin Mints cookies and a half gallon glass of milk about now. Let's take the skirts off and lets begin acting like the big overgrown immature male idiots that we normally are. Renee who is new, and the only female competitor, has provided the only smack to date.

Week 1 Results

The fatties have gotten on the scale for the first time. This is the time when we begin to see our first glimpse at who the potential serious contenders will be. The first time is always the hardest (that's what my father told me) so you could see the nervous trepidation on the faces of many. In case of stage freight a fully charged taser was available to act as a tool of encouragement. Per the below standings results it appears both ends of the spectrum have been represented with 2 competitors with 9lbs lost and 2 competitors with actual weight gain.


1st Place - Dan with 4.35% drop - 9lbs lost.
2nd Place - Brian with 4.21% drop - 9lbs lost.
3rd Place - Rahim with 2.25% drop - 5 lbs lost.
4th Place - Christian with 0.88% drop - 2 lbs lost.
5th Place - Marksman with 0.43% drop - 1lbs lost.
6th Place - Marco with -0.46% jump up - 1 lbs gained.
7th Place - Renee with -1.08% jump up - 2 lbs gained.


I am glad to see some people are taking this pool seriously. Renee and Marco; how in the world do you join a weight loss pool and gain weight. Was there a previously planned Hostess convention that you could not back out of? Did Betty Crocker send you a personal invitation to her Bake Off? Did food terrorists storm your home, tie you down, and terrorize you with delectable items form the local bakery and then force you to eat them? I bet I know the answer to all these questions. It might help to keep the below closed.

Dan - as a previous winner in the sprint event, he is showing this reporter that he means business yet again with 9 pounds coming off. Funny how he did not speak during our interview for this piece, he kept nodding his head up and down and side to side. I'm no idiot, but I think I should have looked for the stitches around the corner of his mouth. His advisor said something about some Honduran spiritual practice. Note Investigate!

Brian - This newcomer is making an impressive start and has the attention of this reporter and the weight loss community. Shedding 9 pounds the first week is setting himself up nicely for the next 7 weeks. Since we do not have any past history we can't gauge if he is a serious contender or a 1 week wonder, only time will tell. I must report though, this reporter has found the following newspaper clipping on his desk and it has me greatly concerned.

Further investigation will deem whether or not the BSAM FatMan's Rules Committee needs to begin an official investagtion. Unfortunately, organ donation is a old school trick to lose weight quickly.

Rahim - What can I say about Rahim, other than it must be tough being in a pool where no one likes you. This reporter finds him to be a very nice person and a wonderful conversationalist. A nice steady 5 pounds the first week shows that Rahim has been able to control his ADD enough to focus on staying out of the Fridge.

Christian - Another newcomer to this event and hard to judge his potential without any historical information to digest. Came in with a nice 2 pounds the first week and maybe he will use it as a base for future weight loss. We have inquiries out to our sources to see if there are any bones in the closet. We found them in his socks. This will be tough for Christian as he surrounded by women at work and he has been caught trading cooking recipes.

Marksman - The best description for this competitor is as the perennial lightweight in this event. Will always provide middle of the road effort, but has never been a serious contender for the winning cash. His kryptonite "Fudgie the Whale", this beast has been known to topple dynasties and men with complete abandon. One look from old Fudgie and the Marksman is powerless. He might as well be hanging with the crack addicts begging for cash on the streets. Don't let that smile fool you, That Whale is a KILLER!

Marco - This is probably the most surprising newsworthy event to come around this reporter for a very long time. To see a past champion, perform like this his first week is quite disturbing. I liken it to watching the disturbing video of Joe Theisman breaking his leg during a football game. But fat is fat and this chubbster could not keep his mouth closed. Let the scale fall where it falls! In Marco's defense, this reporter is aware of a special family function he attended this weekend and there was lots of food available.

Renee - Another newcomer who might want to reread the rules of the competition. A line from a the move, "Trains, Planes and Automobiles" says it best. "Your Going The Wrong Way" This reporter will cut this competitor a break as it is easy for the newcomer to get pushed to the back of the pack at the whistle. This reporter's advice is to get a compass so you get moving in the right direction.

THAT'S ALL TILL NEXT WEEK. FEEL FREE TO POST YOUR COMMENTS

SECOND'S ANYONE?????

Summer, a time for strapping on the thong or banana hammock and heading out to your favorite beach , pool, or neighborhood backyard barbecue party.

Well! not for this group of extra toting flesh and fat hoarders. We might be at those locations, but trust me; we are nowhere near the water, we are hanging out by the buffet table or aggressively volunteering for the important job of burger flipper.



But we are here to make a stand. To put the Twinkies back in the wrapper. Put the Bon Bon's back in the refrigerator. Men and women who are tired of getting soft belly skin caught in their zippers. Tired of sending in search parties to retrieve your own underwear. The time is now.

RULES AND REGULATIONS

The pool will run for 8 weeks. Starting today 06/03/08 and run until 07/29/08. There are only a couple of rules for this pool and I will list them below.

Desire to shed unwanted FAT
· 100 corn dog entry
· Weigh in front of all participants every Tuesday.
· If you can lose weight eating donuts GO FOR IT!!!
· Requirement for pizza lunch paid by the winner.
· Anti Dehydration Rule – see below.

Contestants will be weighed on Tuesday morning. Lightest person will be denoted preliminary winner.
Contestants will share a required 2 slice minimum pizza lunch out of the winners share.
Contestants will weigh in again late Tuesday afternoon. any weight loss will be calculated for Dehydration (total loss/morning delta)
If any contestant achieves a 20% increase of weight against total weight loss. If the prelim winner is over 20% go to the next lightest person.
Continue down to next place until we have a winner.

FINAL PRIZES

FIRST PLACE - MOST % WEIGHT LOSS 800 CORN DOGS

LAST PLACE- 2ND MOST % WEIGHT LOSS 100 CORN DOGS

(paid by the last place person)

Initial weigh-ins are in!

Prior to the weigh-in there were some safety concerns as potential shrapnel from a over stressed scale needed to be contended with. The elderly and small children were moved outside to the safety zone for precaution. Paramedic's were on call in case of injury or disfiguring mutilations. I can gratefully state that the weigh-in was a complete success and we did not experience any injuries during the weigh-in. The pilots of the trauma helicopter were ordered back to Mount Sinai hospital as there services were no longer necessary.

Marksman 234 lbs
Marco 219 lbs

Dan 207 lbs

Brian 214 lbs

Rahim 222 lbs

Christian 226 lbs

Renee 185 lbs

Kim 203 lbs

This is a very special occasion as this is the first pool that actually has recruited women into the mix. Renee and Kim are shedding the stereotypes that women are pink wearing softies who are afraid to have men know their weight and age. Instead they are moving ahead and try to break this image along with some unwanted pounds around the body. They are going to forge ahead with their spiritual leader Cindy Lauper shown below.



The weekly updates will begin on Tuesday 6/10/08 after the weigh in. The anonymous reporter who supplies the commentary does not wish to embarrass or hurt anyone feelings. He is calling the contest with the utmost honesty and professionalism that he can muster. Please use the humor, insults and criticism as motivation to be the best that you can. But news is news and facts are facts.

It is a Doggy Dog world.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL!